I used to have a blog through a Myspace page which I closed due to some questionable adds and things associated. I also used to send out emails quite regularly when God would put something on my heart. This is a collection of that “Old Stuff” that I have many times turned back to myself.
Quick View List of Following Blogs
- My Prayer
- Will you stand when the testing comes?
- The Battle Within
- Loosing our Lives
- He Changed it All
- Daily Statements
- Fighting for Your Marriage
- Prayer
Friday, July 13, 2007
My Prayer
Here I am in Your blessing, Your favor, and Your provision… All of which I deserve NONE… Father, don’t let me ever walk away from you again… press on my heart daily, fill me with a desperate hunger for Your presence and Your Word… for I know that even just one day without it makes me vulnerable. Break my heart… keep me broken, humble, and thankful. Let me never forget the depths from which You rescued me or the pain that I put You through. May I never walk away from You again… and Father when I fall, help me to get right back up and keep going. More than anything may You use my mistakes to help others not to make the same ones… give me the words and the opportunities. May I be nothing but Your vessel… Help me to remember that I am not here to seek my own happiness or success but that I am to be Your hands and feet. I love you Jesus… thank You… AMEN
Friday, June 29, 2007
Will you stand when the testing comes?
Below is an email that I wrote and sent out to some of my friends and family on 3/29/07… I wrote it the day after an awesome service preached by our pastor’s father. I came across this email yesterday and it encouraged me all over again so I wanted to share it…
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From: Gingerlyn Fedric [mailto:gfedric@pinelake.org]
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2007 10:39 AM
Subject: Sharing…
For those of you who were at church last night you know what I am talking about when I say WOW… Chip’s father spoke an awesome word last night about Keeping your eyes on Jesus and not giving up… Don’t quit, he said over and over again. I encourage those of you who couldn’t be there to get the CD. Today at work I opened up the daily devotional that I have been doing (Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word Day by Day) and one of the scriptures was Luke 8:13 a portion of the parable of the sewer. I looked this up and read the whole parable and although I have read it many times it seemed to make more sense than ever. Something that God used to speak to me during a difficult time I was going through was a book series that my friend Ashley was reading. I had some free time on my hands and she let me borrow them… The series is Christian fiction but God really used it to plant something in my heart….
The books are about a family with three sisters and one brother. Each book in the series follows one of the siblings in there struggle with life and their relationship with God. Book after book there was almost always the same theme with each sibling… something terrible would happen (one got pregnant outside of marriage and disowned by the father, one had a girlfriend who broke his heart, another had a little girl who had a terrible accident and left her paralyzed, etc.) and after this terrible occurrence each one would struggle with their faith and walk away from God in anger… the book would then follow their lives until they finally turned back to the Lord. Of course like any good book reader I got completely caught up in the series and I can remember at one point getting so frustrated. I was like… what is wrong with these people???? Every time something bad happened they question God… did they not read the Bible where it talks about “In this life you will have trouble”… Did they think that God was going to pave their lives with blessings and never let them fall??? Where were the parents, didn’t they teach their children that God sometimes uses hardship to shape your character???
Then… I was suddenly aware of how I had done the very same thing in my own life. I had lived my life the way I thought I was “supposed to” for a while and I was convinced that I “deserved” blessings and happiness from God. When my life started falling apart I eventually turned to God and basically said “living for You isn’t worth it”… because I didn’t get the blessings that I thought I would. Wow – what a hard road I had to walk to realize how incredibly selfish my heart was. I was living for God with the mindset that I deserved something for being good. Of course now I look back on all of that with shame and I am so thankful that God allowed me to walk through all of the pain and misery so that He could get rid of all of that selfishness… of course He is still working me, but I really see things differently now. Chip’s Dad talked about “What are we living for” last night. And he said our lives are supposed to be lived for the Glory of God alone. That is exactly what God has showed me. I am not here to sow a bunch of good works so that I can read a bunch of blessings. I am here for the one simple purpose of serving God and bringing glory to His Name. So if things get tuff… If something terrible happens I have to look to Him and praise Him ANYWAY and TRUST that He has a purpose for whatever it is that I am walking through. It’s not easy but it sure beats living for your self… there is no peace and no joy separate from God. There is truly nothing that can fill our heart like God… with out Him there is a big dark empty hole that nothing will ever be able to fill.
So… read these scriptures and think about your own life… are you letting disappointments and hardships keep you from growing and putting down roots in your faith?? Are you like the seed that fell among the rock or the thorns?? Our will you be the good soil… it’s our choice…
4 While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: 5 “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. 6 Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” When he said this, he called out, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” 9 His disciples asked him what this parable meant. 10 He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, “‘though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.’ 11 “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12 Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. 16 “No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18 Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.”
Luke 8 1-18
Monday, June 11, 2007
The Battle Within
Recently I went through something in my heart where I was trying to discern between God’s voice and my own. I found myself in the center of an emotional-spiritual battle and as I was trying to fight it in my own strength I was loosing my joy and peace. Through many days of prayer on my knees, desperately searching the scriptures, and seeking counsel for answers I finally began to feel myself coming apart at the seems. Next thing I knew I was walking up the stairs in my apartment entrance. At the top of the stairs there is a picture of Christ bearing the crown of thorns and hanging overhead on the facing wall is an iron cross that John welded for me. There is also the prayer box that my roomie Ashley and I have filled with prayers and a glass vase that holds answered prayers. Many times as I am coming in the door I have stopped here and knelt on the stairs and prayed…. This day I knelt and I cried and all I said was… God I can’t do this without you, please take this situation into Your hands, Bring me anything that brings You glory (as the Mercy Me song sings). As I cried I laid it all there at His feet and unloaded my burden. From that point on my heaviness was gone. I still had no answer or completion to the situation but I had the confidence that it was in His hands.
Later that night John and I went to see Spiderman 3 in the theatre. It was funny because there was such an underlying spiritual depth to the whole story line… I don’t know if this was intentional but God defiantly spoke to me through it. The title of this 3rd movie was ‘The Battle Within”… so interesting. If you haven’t seen it you might not understand but if you have then you know what I am taking about… he finds this stuff that creates a black suit and he begins to struggle with pride, selfishness, and anger which drives him to revenge. The black suit seems to give him this power and extra confidence to take revenge but the audience can see that it is completely changing who he is and he is no longer the good “Super Hero”. Finally he realizes that he is not himself and he decides to get rid of the suit… he actually has to painfully peel this thing off of him and it is an unbelievable struggle to remove the black suit. The suit seems to have a life of it’s own as it fights him as he is trying to remove it… Finally he gets it off and he is suddenly back to himself. Later on he tells his enemy who has since taken on the black suit that “I know it feels good, the power… but you will loose yourself” …again so interesting.
Suddenly I am putting it all together and seeing that sometimes to do the right thing we actually have to fight ourselves… our wants… our desires… Doing the right things doesn’t always feel good and sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it actually feels as if we are tearing off our own skin as we deny ourselves of the things of the world that our flesh wants. But in the end those things with destroy us if we don’t fight them. Living for Christ means DYING to ourselves… why in the word do we think that would be an easy thing? So many times it is so hard that it seems that it makes more sense to give in, but again, what part of dying to ourselves did we think was going to be easy?????
Be encouraged that even though it is hard and it is a struggle and that every power within you and of this world are going to war against you doing the things that God calls you to do and giving up the things that God calls you to give up but it is worth it… in the end there is no peace and no joy any other way…
Monday, June 11, 2007
Loosing Our Lives
Something that God is really doing in my heart right now is centered on why we do what we do. When my sister recently came back from a mission trip to the Dominican Republic she told us about a man that God used to touch her heart. I might not get the details correct but there is a doctor over there working in a Christian organization giving free medical care to locals that cannot afford it. She said that he is operating on people and giving them back the ability to walk. Many people over there loose the ability to function over things that can be taken care of with a simple surgery. This man is living off of something like 30 thousand a year where if he was living in the US he could be making several HUNDRED thousand dollars. This man is doing what he is doing for the Glory of God, so that these people might come to know our Savior. Wow… if that doesn’t make you do a priority check I don’t know what will. How many of us constantly find ourselves dreaming and thinking of success for ourselves or about making more money so that we can buy more stuff instead of living our lives as a sacrifice desperately trying to make a difference? When we are faced with difficulties and stress do we just look for a way out or do we press in to find out what God is doing?
Right now I am reading Fresh Wind Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala, I have read Fresh Faith, from the same series, several times. It was so life changing that I decided to pick this one up. The book starts our talking about the hopeless beginnings of the Brooklyn Tabernacle which is now a huge thriving church in New York. As Pastor Cymbala is talking about the early days and how miserable the church was, and how they had to totally lean on God and trust him for a future, I am in aww because it is hard to believe knowing what that church is today. I ask myself why is it so hard for me to believe? If I truly believe that God can move mountains, when I hear a story about Him doing just that, why am I surprised? If we could all just get to the place where we look our impossible situations in the face and BELIEVE with all of our hearts that God CAN and WILL change them for the better how much more could He do through us? And if we could only get ourselves to stop focusing on our personal happiness and start focusing on being effective for Christ, regardless the price that we have to pay, imagine the changes we would see around us…
Pastor Steve asked us in our Family Ministry meeting if we were as hungry for God as we are for things of the flesh… are we even as hungry for Him as we are for food? Are we? What would happen if we were?
May you be as challenged by these verses as I have been…
Matthew 10: 34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword… 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Monday, January 08, 2007
HE changed it all…
He forgave us all of our sins,
having cancelled the written code, with its regulations,
that was against us and that stood opposed to us;
He took it away, nailing it to the cross.
And having disarmed the powers and authorities,
he made a public spectacle of them,
triumphing over them by the cross.
Colossians 2:14 &15
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Daily Statements…
Here are my two new daily statements… phrases that I tell myself throughout the day to help keep my mind and heart on track… (Sometimes it helps to scream it out-loud and hit yourself on the head at the same time… hahah)
#1
It’s NOT about ME!!!!
When problems arise during the day or situations confront me that are frustrating or hurtful I simply remind myself that ‘its not about me’ but it is about God, what He wants to do in my life and how He wants to use me. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason… so when I start to complain or feel down about something that happens I tell myself once again… sometimes over and over… It’s not about me!!! If we could get to the place that we look at everything that happens to us throughout the days through God’s eyes and think… maybe God is using this to somehow bring Glory to His name… life might seem a little better and a little more worth the struggles.
#2
Love is NOT self seeking!!!
This is a good reminder for me when I start to get frustrated at someone in my life… family, freinds, ect. At some point throughout our days those that we love will let us down or hurt our feelings or neglect us. If we can remember to tell ourselves… that to LOVE someone is NOT to be concerned with how that person treats us or benifits us ….but that LOVE is about giving and being there for someone even when they can’t be there for us… then maybe we would truely experiance what love is. I am still working on this one…
“…Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Eph. 5:2
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2008 3:30 PM
Fighting for your Marriage: An email that I sent to a friend, sharing a little of my story.
The one question that keeps rolling through my mind as I pray for you is this… What are we here on this Earth for? What is our purpose? What would be the greatest thing we could accomplish? As Christians we are here for one purpose, to bring Glory to God, to make His name known… There is no greater accomplishment than to stand before Christ at the end of our lives and hear Him say “Well done good and faithful servant”. We are called to lay down our lives, our flesh, our desires, our happiness, pick up our cross and follow Christ, suffer with Him, and suffer for Him. The problem comes when we get our eyes off of Christ and get focused on what we want and what we desire… Even if those wants and desires are good things. For example, I have a dear friend who’s husband doesn’t have much interest in spiritual things and at times she has even questioned his salvation. She wants so badly to have a husband that is a spiritual leader, one who encourages and challenges her in her walk with God, one that prays for her, one that desires to grow. All of those things are good Godly desires if you are single and making a check list for your “husband to be” but as a married woman her responsibility to God is different. God expects her to love her husband, lift him up in prayer, encourage him, respect Him, and let Him see Christ through her that one day He may come to know Christ himself. We know this but yet the devil tries to convince us that God would understand and that He would want us to go out there and find a better more Godly husband. I know I fell for this lie; surely God wouldn’t want me to stay in that marriage and be unhappy?? But if I had only faced the truth… I was thinking of myself, living for myself, and no matter how you look at it I was completely wrong when I walked away from my first marriage. Just as much as I walked away from my first husband I walked away from God. I tried to rationalize it but there is no way around it. I was wrong and I was selfish. I chose my own personal desires and wants over Christ.
There are a few times in our lives that we will all be tested and given the opportunity to allow God to use out pain, or give in and let the devil win. It is our choice. For some it will be tragedy, cancer, professional disaster, a cheating husband, a wayward child… for many if will be a struggling marriage. Few Christians these days actually choose to honor God above their own selfishness in marriage and that is why there is little difference in the statistics between married Christians and married unbelievers. Thankfully there is mercy, grace, and forgiveness for those like me that allowed the devil to get the victory. I promise I have no judgment for those who struggle with this; I can remember the pain and what it was like. But what hurts still is that I didn’t stand and fight and allow God to use that time in my life. For that reason I will share my story with anyone who will listen and tell them that although I am healed and now have a great second marriage divorce is never the answer.
I hope I don’t sound like I am preaching at you… I am just passionate about this subject and I am hurting for you. I will never judge you, but I will try to encourage you to follow God above the pain and frustrations. There is a blessing waiting on the other side… even if it is waiting for you in heaven, it will be worth it.
Sent: Tuesday, January 13, 2009 5:10
Prayer: Another email that I sent to a friend.
There was a time in my life recently when I was really struggling with God’s will for my life and I was fighting daily with my flesh. That time I did over come and press through, it wasn’t easy and it took a lot of prayer and tears. Here are some of the things that I prayed that helped me through… pray this with your whole heart if you can!
**Father take every desire in me that does not line up with your will, burn it away and replace it with your will. God I want my desires to be the desires of Your heart. Open the eyes of my heart that I may see the things that I am seeking that are not things that you desire me to seek. Let Your will alone bring me joy and peace. Make me restless until I have spent time in your Word daily. Shut the doors to opportunities that are not from you and open wide the door of opportunity to the things that you want me to pursue. Take my pride, my will, my dreams and replace them with humility, Your will, and Your dreams. Show me how I can serve you today. Help me to love my enemies and see them through Your eyes. Encourage me today as I seek you, show me the path that you would have me to take. Help me to live for You alone.**
More coming…
